Saturday, January 10, 2015

Somebody



I have a pet peeve.

Well, more than one, actually <hangs head in shame>.

I cannot stand the sound of people chewing, even myself, but I absolutely adore food. Paradoxical, I know. :P

I also very much dislike being stuck behind slow walkers, unless they are cute Grandmas and Grandpas. (See how adorable they are?)


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But high school couples don't have to use canes and aren't nearly as charming as the elderly folks above, so I'm pretty sure those googly eyed teens could walk faster if they really wanted to.

Rant over. 

Sort of.

I guess what I'm trying to get at in this post is bigger than just a pet peeve: it's a problem. In fact, it's one of those issues that just gets under my skin, lights a bonfire in my soul, and sends fireworks spewing out of my brain (hey, maybe that explains my frizzy hair?).

The truth is, I'm sick and tired of girls being obsessed with marriage.

I know, it sounds bad. Please don't freak out or hate me. I am a firm believer in the importance of finding an eternal companion and marrying them in the right place, but I'm also a firm believer in marrying them at the right time, and freshman (or even Senior) year of high school is definitely not that time. Know what I mean?

Marriage is hard.  That's why it's for grown ups. Yes, it brings tons of joy, but it's not the happily ever after that the movies make it out to be. True, you get to experience that special someone's strengths and talents, but you also have to  learn to live with another person, accept their faults (including the way they chew and walk slowly sometimes), and help someone else with their struggles and trials along with your own. Yes, they help you bear your burdens too, and when you're equally yoked, marriage can add great depth and meaning to life; but my point is you can't just wait for marriage to save you. That's too much responsibility to put on another person.

I believe that instead of focussing on being somebody's, we need to concentrate on being somebody.

Allow me to explain:

Every day, I see girls bend over backwards to get a guy to notice them. They'll change their hobbies, clothes, beliefs, sense of humor, and even personality just to get some attention. 

I don't do that, and yes it often means I stay home during Prom and Homecoming and spend Valentines Day with my boyfriends Ben & Jerry (long live Chocolate Fudge Brownie!), but I believe that eternity is a very long time to be someone I'm not. 

Want to know a secret? Someone who truly loves me won't want me to change my favorite things or personality just to match theirs. 

They'll love me for who I am.

They'll love me and my lame puns, plaid shirts, obsession with Star Wars, and crazy hair.

They'll love me for having goals, loving education, and being a firm believer that ice cream makes bad days (or any day for that matter) better.

They'll love me even though I might talk about Lord of the Rings too much, obsess over neuroscience, get lost in books too often, burn food, and have the worst time waking up in the morning.

And they'll even love me when I'm covered in drool, styling a messy bun (and not the gorgeous ones that show up on Pinterest either, I might add), and sporting oh-so-fashionable sweat pants because it's finals week and I passed out on the couch. 

And your special special someone is going to love you, too. 

For who YOU are.

Not for who the popular crowd wants you to be or who People magazine says you should emulate.

They'll love YOU. 

Wait for that person, but don't just sit there.

Find out who YOU are.

Discover what you love. What makes you sad. What makes you happy. What makes fireworks leak out of your head and what scares you silly. Make goals. Make plans. Dream.

It's okay to be you. It's okay to exercise your talents, follow your heart (Wow, I sound like Mulan! My day is made! lol), and become who you've always wanted to be. 

Go to college, write that book, open that cupcake store, go parachuting with your 97 year old Grandma (ok, well maybe that's not the best idea ...), and follow your dreams.

In the end, I think you'll discover becoming somebody helped you find that other somebody, and that kind of sincerity and authenticity, (not fake masks, feigned giggles, or altered egos), is what love is really all about.

Ok, my rant is officially over now. Thanks for listening ... err ... reading. I totally owe you a candy bar now. Or a milkshake. Yes, definitely a milkshake. ;)

Best wishes to my favorite somebodies!


P.S. While I was planning this post, I read this one by Shelby at This Little Light of Mine. It is phenomenal. You should read it. 

P.P.S. And because a lovey-dovey post wouldn't be complete without words from the leading love expert, Olaf, here is a Frozen meme. You're welcome.

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10 comments:

  1. Okay. I absolutely loved your thoughts here! I have been struggling with this, wondering what is wrong with me and what I need to change so that a guy can tell me the time of day. But does it really matter in high school? Have fun, explore your hobbies, make guy friends, don't worry, and be happy! You defonitely shouldn't change who you are so that you can secure that special someone too early...because then you'll have to face that decision forever.

    Thank you Sarah! And thanks for commenting on my blog too! I've gotta show my friend this post...I think a lot of high school girls could benefit from it.

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    1. I'm so glad you enjoyed it and that I could help. :) Honestly, I was super scared to post this but I had to get those fireworks out of my head so my hair would stop frizzing. :P haha jk Thanks for reading and for commenting!

      Hugs!
      Sarah

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  2. Thank you so much for linking to my blog! I love this post so much! I am not at dating age yet, but I think it can also apply to friends. People go so out of their way to become someone they aren't, just to get friends. But if they are true friends they will love you for who you are.
    Have a great Sunday!
    -Shelby

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    1. Great point! It totally applies to friendships, too. And I'm happy to link to your blog. :) It is awesome!

      Happy Sunday to you, too! Thanks for reading!

      Hugs!
      Sarah

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  3. Very well said. All of those reasons are why we are teaching our 12 year old that she should wait until thirty to get married and have a family. No one really knows who they are until then.

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  4. Also, thanks for sharing on the Monday Mash-Up! I think you are going to be my feature from this event! Involves a few excerpts and links!

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    1. Oh my goodness, I would be honored. Thank you so much!

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  5. I've been married for 14 years, but this post of yours really takes me back to that time in my life in college before I was married. I noticed a pattern that at the beginning of the semester for some reason I would wish I had a boyfriend. Then, as the semester went on, I would not feel so anxious for one. I realized what I really felt was insecurity and for some reason it manifested itself as a desire for a boyfriend. What I wanted was to develop connections and friendships with the people around me. I learned that I should be a good friend.

    Good thing, because the man I married was one of my really good friends.

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    1. Thank you for sharing your experience, Michaela! I think the world would be a much better place if we were all just friendlier. :) And I'm glad you found a keeper.

      Thanks for reading!

      Hugs!
      Sarah

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I love hearing from you! Comment. I dare you.

[Trust me. I only eat ice cream. Not people.]

Also, if you have a blog, feel free to leave me a link. I'd love to get to know you better!

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